David Cameron today took his ‘No to AV you fucking plebs because we’ll never get in power again’, argument to new depths, with his first forays into the guts of the argument.
Cameron was visiting a children’s home in Wakefield, when out of the blue he started shouting at the children’s small, round faces and talking about his movements. Cameron proceeded to scream the words ‘No AV! No AV! I feel it in my lower intestinal tract like a burning bullet!’ and then rammed his chubby fingers right down his throat, sicking up the contents of his guts, shouting ‘There’s your AV system you dirty fucking prol-spawn!’
After the event Mrs Jock John Glenfinch III – governor of the children’s home – said she was happy with the way the Prime Minister handled himself in front of the wee ones and that she’d be giving him her full support and possibly a little extra if he was lucky.
PLEASE NOTE: All of the above was taken from something that someone told me in town today, when I was buying some milk and a packet of cheese straws from that place that makes them by hand. I much prefer the ones made by hand, as they taste of real cheese and not just the skin from an old person’s feet. Anyway, some of the above may not be completely accurate. The only bit that I know to be true is the bit about the cat getting its head trapped in the railings, which I saw with my own eyes.