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Shock increase in mistaken-identity celebrity kidnappings and robberies, as proven by leaked Met crime lists

Robberies:

Ronald’s Ray Gun
Freddie’s mercury thermometer collection
Elvis’s parsley
David’s letter man
Jason’s doner van
Bill’s gates
Goldie’s horn
Alicia’s silver stone
Alexander Graham’s bell
Britney’s spears
Michael J’s fox
Kate’s bush
W C’s fields
Justin’s entire timber lake
Lauren’s hill
Fidel’s Castrol GTX
Neil’s diamond
Billy’s crystal
John’s candy
Mama Ghandi’s hat

Kidnappings:

Maggie’s thatcher, plumber and personal trainer
Sigourney’s weaver
Danny’s baker
Helena’s bottom carter
C G’s young
Geoffrey’s archer
Elizebeth’s taylor
Michael Jack’s son
Jack Nichol’s son
Gillian and her son
Pamela and her son
Jeremy Clark’s son
Richard Bran’s son
Charles Man’s son
Emma Watt’s son
Thomas Edi’s son
Jesse Jack’s son
Thomas Jeffer’s son
etc

 

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