Countryside Guidence Part 1. 8 noises that will help you, if you’re caught in an awkward situation with a depressed bullock

  1. Creeeoooo (sound of a buzzard)
  2. Aieee-ek-ek-ek (nasal sound from the belly)
  3. gerffeLAM (use once only, then take a single pace backwards)
  4. Moo
  5. Moooo
  6. Moooooooo
  7. Baaaaa (confusion tactic)
  8. Mooobaaaa (confusion tactic)


Never use ‘Baaaamooo’, or any variant form of this sound, it will cause distress for all concerned.

In the unlikely event that the bullock changes it’s mood to, ‘A Sunny Disposition’, please refrain from making any sound whatsoever, and just leave him in peace, with his own thoughts.

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