Early preview of the latest gangsta rap from MC Stabby Stab, in praise of the ale, Suck the Doom – EXPLICIT LYRICS

Suck the Doom

I refuse to mix my drinks; I like my ale, so get the fuck down the boozer where that shit’s on sale

If you want to come join me for a couple of pints, you’ll fucking find me in the bar, most every night

You know my favourite tipple, I like to consume, is this mother fucking pint, by the name of Doom

She’s a Cornish brew and she comes from Rock, I put my face to her lip and get tingles in my cock

And all that top shelf shit, whiskey and gin, can go fuck itself, with its spiritual sin

The only top shelf that I’ve ever liked, that’s the corner shop porn, with the old fucking dykes

So ignore your mates when you buy a round, ignore the glamour and ignore the fucking crowd

Take the orders and smile, make an honest face, you’ll only buy them ale and they’ll enjoy the fucking taste.

Chorus

Supping on that sweet 5, 6, 8 (ml)

Slump yourself in the gutter and appreciate

Supping on that sweet 5, 6, 8 (ml)

That’s a standard liquid measurement of volume, not weight

Verse 2

I’ve drunk the brown since the age of five and it’s a fucking shock, that I’m still alive

Now I should be dead, but I’m a fucking survivor and my bitch keeps me safe, she’s the designated driver

Cause I needed a woman who could tame the beast, with my mad fucking cravings for the hops and yeast,

And she’s done the job and here’s the rub, she’s the fucking landlady, of my local pub

And she satisfies me, in so many ways, but most importantly she pours me ales

And when I sick up my guts, at the end of the night, she tucks me in bed and turns out the light

So you see from this, that my life is defined, by an ancient brew from the dawn of time

And the moral of the story, there isn’t one, so get the fuck down the pub and grab an ale in the sun.

Chorus

Supping on that sweet 5, 6, 8 (ml)

Slump yourself in the gutter and appreciate

Supping on that sweet 5, 6, 8 (ml)

That’s a standard liquid measurement of volume, not weight

Yeah

Cartoons and things by Simon French

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