New discovery of hillside chalk drawing in Catford, Lewisham, causes thefts by local teachers

From the Uffington White Horse, with its abstract beauty, to the Cerne Abbas Giant, with its large chalky erection, the hillside patterns created by the alcoholics of yesteryear have always inspired wonder in the simple and the poor.

Since the discovery – in 1901 – of a life-size depiction of a chalk shrew, on the banks of the River Dart in Devon, there has been a growing interest in the world of ‘Shit Chalky Doodles’;  a term coined by the discoverer of the Devon Shrew, Dr Arthur Pewse.

Since that first discovery there have been many more finds, some of which are shown below.


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The latest Shit Chalky Doodle to be found, is in the small village of Catford, Lewisham. The Shit Chalky Doodle was discovered by Mrs Brian ‘Shaft’ McKenzie, while he was out walking his border terrier Sid. The horse – known as ‘The Catford Twat’ – is thought to be an early Bronze-Age piece and top scientists are currently cutting slivers of chalk off of its long face, to establish the age through the latest carbon-dating, laser-centrifuge-systems (patent pending).


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Since the discovery there have unfortunately been a number of incidents of theft from the hillside site. It is thought that with the current economic climate, head teachers in the area have found the chalky deposits too tempting to leave be and have taken to filching quantities of the white goodness, to reform into new chalk sticks for their minions.

If you want to visit The Catford Twat, visit and book up a guided tour of the site, which will be led by Bernard Butler from Suede.

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