Part 10 of the novel ‘The Cat that Reversed Time’. This unfinished novel is already shortlisted for the Booker, Cooker and also Hooker Prize

As he sipped his broth from the new copper punnet, it dawned on Arthur that all strange things that had happened to him in the last few days, had happened largely because of Lupin the cat’s experiments with the reversal of time.

He ventured this hypothesis to Peralopolies, who immediately removed his pants and struck Arthur hard about the face and neck, screaming that it was the most obvious thing in the world that Lupin’s reversal of time had caused the recent strange and sometimes quite painful occurrences, and that Arthur was a massive idiot for not realising that a cat reversing the flow of time would cause certain changes in their situation and that he would not stop the punishment beating until a robot from space arrived in their midst and brought them news.

At this moment Mrs Slefton entered the room with Peter, her youngest son.

“Peter has something to say.” she said.

“Really?” said Arthur.

“Said.” said Peralopolies.

“Yes.”, said Mrs Slefton. “Speak now Peter and do the speaking directly into the microphone.”

“I am a robot from space,” said Peter, the robot from space. “I bring you news of the cat Lupin.”

Peralopolies kept his promise to Arthur that the beating would stop, and with regret, stopped the beating. This allowed him to turn his focus onto the small robot child’s shiny silver face, who at that moment was speaking the following words:

“Lupin is dying”.

Tune in next time kids, when we find out what is wrong with Lupin and the discover why Peralopolies keeps on removing his pants!

Cartoons and things by Simon French

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