Patient: Doctor, Doctor I’m getting very stressed. I just opened up my own medical practice and no one turned up.
Doctor: With cases like this, I suggest you need to have patience.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep getting stabbing pains in my legs and shoulder.
Doctor: That’s because I’m repeatedly stabbing you in the legs and shoulder.
Patient: Why would you do that?
Doctor: Well, I hate you because you have been sleeping with my wife for the last eight years.
Patient: Oh, you found out.
Doctor: That’s ok, I’m sorry too.
Patient: No really, it’s my fault, please carry on.
Cartoons and things by Simon French